yganreddy
08-06 10:58 PM
I read this in other forum and thought of sharing it
----------
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset..
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
----------------
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.hi,
I came to US 5 years back in H4. My husband processed GC and 140 is cleared and 485 pending. I got my EAD and now working. My husband and I have problems and he is threatening to ruin my life.
Can I know a few things
1. Can he take me out of the GC ?
2. Can he revoke my EAD ?
3. Can my employee extend my EAD which is expiring in 2010 and continue my GC.
please help...
----------
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset..
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
----------------
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.hi,
I came to US 5 years back in H4. My husband processed GC and 140 is cleared and 485 pending. I got my EAD and now working. My husband and I have problems and he is threatening to ruin my life.
Can I know a few things
1. Can he take me out of the GC ?
2. Can he revoke my EAD ?
3. Can my employee extend my EAD which is expiring in 2010 and continue my GC.
please help...
coolman
07-01 11:40 AM
My daughter is in college and I was wondering if there is any chance of getting a FAFSA loan for her with I-485 application applied in July 2007.
Thanks
Thanks
immidude
07-13 10:34 AM
I suggest to wear suits (black,grey,brown ,..yaa dark) this way it looks organized and looks diffrent to draw attention.
{ and in this way bayarea guys can utilize their old suits :) }
{ and in this way bayarea guys can utilize their old suits :) }
chanduv23
01-31 12:36 PM
Who is United Nations? From your views, it seems like United Nations is a pretty strong asset. Please post more information.
he is extremely knowledgable person in terms of immigration, he has 5000+ posts on immigration forums and has helped countless people with immigration issues. His name seems to be Nadeem and is a Canadian immigrant and is a CPA and his EB3 petition is in retrogression.
In recent times he started stereotyping immigrants and make every immigrant feel that they are breaking laws in some way or the other and became unpopular.
He was not in support of IV and was under a strong feeling that a bunch of immigrants are wasting precious time and money. But now he seems to change his stance and has stepped into IV and has become a member. He is very helpful in terms of his skills and willingness to share his knowledge and help people.
He does audit to a lot of h1b dependent employers and has direct influence and can strongly recommend them to contribute for this cause. Most of his analysis about patterns of visa distribution comee out as expected but in recent times there were instances where his analysis went wrong too.
Overall he is definitely of great help if he wishes to dedicate some time of his to this cause and help in all ways possible.
he is extremely knowledgable person in terms of immigration, he has 5000+ posts on immigration forums and has helped countless people with immigration issues. His name seems to be Nadeem and is a Canadian immigrant and is a CPA and his EB3 petition is in retrogression.
In recent times he started stereotyping immigrants and make every immigrant feel that they are breaking laws in some way or the other and became unpopular.
He was not in support of IV and was under a strong feeling that a bunch of immigrants are wasting precious time and money. But now he seems to change his stance and has stepped into IV and has become a member. He is very helpful in terms of his skills and willingness to share his knowledge and help people.
He does audit to a lot of h1b dependent employers and has direct influence and can strongly recommend them to contribute for this cause. Most of his analysis about patterns of visa distribution comee out as expected but in recent times there were instances where his analysis went wrong too.
Overall he is definitely of great help if he wishes to dedicate some time of his to this cause and help in all ways possible.
more...
hotbread1
07-16 01:11 PM
Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
delax
07-16 05:41 PM
"Rumors have been rampant about whether (and, if so, how) Department of Homeland Security and/or Department of State are going to address their actions resulting in the refusal of adjustment of status filings for most employment-based applicants in July and for 'other worker' applicants during June. There have been efforts, including EXTREMELY active efforts by AILA and AILF, on all possible fronts to pressure the government into remedying its own actions. However, as of this writing nothing has been resolved and it is not known if it will be resolved without litigation. The situation is extremely fluid, and as soon as there is something FACTUAL to report, it will be posted immediately on InfoNet."
more...
number30
07-26 02:12 PM
In India 3 year grad are arts, humanities, science, management and accounting.
while 4+ year degrees are for technology, engineering, agriculture, medicine.
UK (some parts of europe as well) and Australia seems to have similar system in some of its university.
even some US universities have rightly adopted the same
fsu.edu | degree in 3 (http://www.degreein3.fsu.edu/)
Degree in Three Program Description (http://www.ecu.edu/threeyeardegree/)
Panola College Degree in 3 Program (http://legacy.panola.edu/instruction/degree_3/index.html)
The point is the content is more important than the duration.
I personally think 3year UG unlikely reason for reopening I140 after GC is approved. I would be shocked if that is the case.
I am afraid this could be a paper chase. Asking more docs to creating headache for the applicant.
U.S. steps up H-1B, green card assault with paper chase (http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9135552/U.S._steps_up_H_1B_green_card_assault_with_paper_c hase)
It is better to consult attorney to handle it properly.
The issue not the three year degree But It is 16 year education or 15 year education to attain the degree. In UK it still takes 16 years education to attain the Bachelors.
while 4+ year degrees are for technology, engineering, agriculture, medicine.
UK (some parts of europe as well) and Australia seems to have similar system in some of its university.
even some US universities have rightly adopted the same
fsu.edu | degree in 3 (http://www.degreein3.fsu.edu/)
Degree in Three Program Description (http://www.ecu.edu/threeyeardegree/)
Panola College Degree in 3 Program (http://legacy.panola.edu/instruction/degree_3/index.html)
The point is the content is more important than the duration.
I personally think 3year UG unlikely reason for reopening I140 after GC is approved. I would be shocked if that is the case.
I am afraid this could be a paper chase. Asking more docs to creating headache for the applicant.
U.S. steps up H-1B, green card assault with paper chase (http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9135552/U.S._steps_up_H_1B_green_card_assault_with_paper_c hase)
It is better to consult attorney to handle it properly.
The issue not the three year degree But It is 16 year education or 15 year education to attain the degree. In UK it still takes 16 years education to attain the Bachelors.
Becks
08-16 05:51 PM
I had my PA DL renewed last year. All they asked was the original I-485 receipt, Passport. They dont consider EADs.
more...
paskal
06-18 07:06 PM
please please stop reading the old bill
the new one is on the iv home page
or in thomas look at sa.1150 under the s.1358 bill
the new one is on the iv home page
or in thomas look at sa.1150 under the s.1358 bill
YesGC_NoGC
06-20 09:42 AM
Thanks man,
What was your experience when you invoked AC21 both the times? Did you or your employer notified USCIS? was there any difference in title and or responsibilities? Did you try make sure the job title match with teh SOC codes that is on your labor?
hey man, if i were you, i wouldn't do this..i personally changed jobs twice in ac21 and would not do this change..
What was your experience when you invoked AC21 both the times? Did you or your employer notified USCIS? was there any difference in title and or responsibilities? Did you try make sure the job title match with teh SOC codes that is on your labor?
hey man, if i were you, i wouldn't do this..i personally changed jobs twice in ac21 and would not do this change..
more...
SlowRoasted
06-25 05:23 PM
did this poll get lost in that hacker attack? just wondering.
seeking_GC
07-18 08:13 PM
Hi,
I am in the same situation. I just got the tracking number from my lawyer for the fedex that he had sent on June 30 and he has sent it to Dallas . I live and work in California. I went through the Direct Filing press release and the USCIS link :
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=eb7b5cdc2c463110VgnVCM1000004718190aRCR D&vgnextchannel=fe529c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1 RCRD
and now I am confused as to whether my lawyer did the right thing or its ok to send the application to Dallas??
Anyone any thoughts???
I am in the same situation. I just got the tracking number from my lawyer for the fedex that he had sent on June 30 and he has sent it to Dallas . I live and work in California. I went through the Direct Filing press release and the USCIS link :
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=eb7b5cdc2c463110VgnVCM1000004718190aRCR D&vgnextchannel=fe529c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1 RCRD
and now I am confused as to whether my lawyer did the right thing or its ok to send the application to Dallas??
Anyone any thoughts???
more...
ItIsNotFunny
10-30 04:45 PM
Dude you have the AP use it... I have travelled on AP multiple time no issues. I have an approved H1 which I dont use any more...
All the best
You serious that you have valid H1B but you travelled and entered back on AP?
Why would you do that?
All the best
You serious that you have valid H1B but you travelled and entered back on AP?
Why would you do that?
leoindiano
07-09 01:15 PM
Mine is TSC peding since May 2006.
Upgraded to PP on Jun 19th 2007, no updates yet.
Mine is TSC too...
Upgraded to PP on Jun 19th 2007, no updates yet.
Mine is TSC too...
more...
logiclife
01-05 05:07 PM
As of yesterday, there was a collection of $5000. We need much more than that.
The details of contributions and fund-raising can be found at the "Why Contribute" link of the home page.
http://www.immigrationvoice.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=26&Itemid=25
Everything here is transparent. Please sign up as volunteer so we can have you more involved besides receiving money. That will also build your trust and in return your volunteer work will help everyone too.
logiclife.
The details of contributions and fund-raising can be found at the "Why Contribute" link of the home page.
http://www.immigrationvoice.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=26&Itemid=25
Everything here is transparent. Please sign up as volunteer so we can have you more involved besides receiving money. That will also build your trust and in return your volunteer work will help everyone too.
logiclife.
optimystic
03-19 02:44 PM
Well...my PD is current and my RD at Nebraska is also current as per thier processing times. But still no LUDs or any other updates so far :( (its been 19 days since my PD became current)
I already spoke to USCIS IO one week back, and was told its a bit too early, and wait for 45 days and call back if nothing happens until then. They weren't willing to give me the status whether my Namecheck crossed 180 days.
Just going to wait until April 1, and then call them again. Or get an INFOPASS . What do the gurus suggest?
[EB3 - I , PD May 2001, RD July 30 07, Nebraska ]
I already spoke to USCIS IO one week back, and was told its a bit too early, and wait for 45 days and call back if nothing happens until then. They weren't willing to give me the status whether my Namecheck crossed 180 days.
Just going to wait until April 1, and then call them again. Or get an INFOPASS . What do the gurus suggest?
[EB3 - I , PD May 2001, RD July 30 07, Nebraska ]
more...
FKFish
01-31 11:44 AM
What if my 485 gets approved as soon as my PD becomes current, and before my wife's 485 filed? Will it be fine as along as our married date is before the approval date?
Dandruff
02-11 09:55 AM
Once you strart using EAD your H1 will be terminated. If you want to switch to H1 again your need to apply for fresh H1 in the new quota. You cant renew because its terminated.
Hmm... I agree with : "Once you strart using EAD your H1 will be terminated."
what I dont agree with is : "If you want to switch to H1 again your need to apply for fresh H1 in the new quota."
You can reapply for H1-B but you are NOT subject to H1-B cap / quota.
It should not be subject to the annual cap unless you have been out of the U.S. for at least one year since you were last in H-1B status.
hth!
Hmm... I agree with : "Once you strart using EAD your H1 will be terminated."
what I dont agree with is : "If you want to switch to H1 again your need to apply for fresh H1 in the new quota."
You can reapply for H1-B but you are NOT subject to H1-B cap / quota.
It should not be subject to the annual cap unless you have been out of the U.S. for at least one year since you were last in H-1B status.
hth!
vejella
08-01 01:40 PM
I have seen many cases where the GC is given to primary applicant and none of his /her benificiaries got GC and otherwise , even though their name checks are cleared.
My Guess is for x number of GCs processed during last week of june, most of the 2008 quota is consumed by their benificiaries just to clean up the mess.
For the retrogressed countries /categories with thighter quota restrictions , i would not be too much hopefull for atleast couple of years.
Just MY 2Cents
My Guess is for x number of GCs processed during last week of june, most of the 2008 quota is consumed by their benificiaries just to clean up the mess.
For the retrogressed countries /categories with thighter quota restrictions , i would not be too much hopefull for atleast couple of years.
Just MY 2Cents
munnashi
10-31 06:08 AM
Guru's
My I140 is approved on October 24 2007 and original document has got my lawyer and employer, but I have not received any original document. My question is: Does I can get original document or I have to ask to my lawyer or employer?
My I140 is approved on October 24 2007 and original document has got my lawyer and employer, but I have not received any original document. My question is: Does I can get original document or I have to ask to my lawyer or employer?
wandmaker
02-26 05:37 PM
wandmaker ..Please read Phony postings and do not respond to these guys , they are just playing .. I m surprised senior members are not understanding the intend of the posts .
What can we help if he had problems with employer ? what can we help if he had h1-h4-h1 issues ? Every one just relax and stop replying .
I know every one wants to help others in our community but think twice before replying
I see the good intentions of your statement. Not sure, whether you really got what I really wanted to convey to to OP. Giving 1% of benefit of doubt based on (2), I was trying to find out
(1) The reason for amendment denial
(2) Whether the employer is exploiting him due to his ignorance
(3) Whether the employer is abusing the immigration system.
BTW, Dig through my posts on this thread and other - You will realize that I'm against everyone who abuses the system.
What can we help if he had problems with employer ? what can we help if he had h1-h4-h1 issues ? Every one just relax and stop replying .
I know every one wants to help others in our community but think twice before replying
I see the good intentions of your statement. Not sure, whether you really got what I really wanted to convey to to OP. Giving 1% of benefit of doubt based on (2), I was trying to find out
(1) The reason for amendment denial
(2) Whether the employer is exploiting him due to his ignorance
(3) Whether the employer is abusing the immigration system.
BTW, Dig through my posts on this thread and other - You will realize that I'm against everyone who abuses the system.
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